Hope.

Here, lying on my back.
Soul scorched by the fire.
Insecurities prodding from every angle.
Despair rising like waters in a storm.
Hope slipping through fingertips.
Darkness covers, strangles, bears down.
And here I lie.
Screams of my mind,
Longings that feel unbearable.
For how to hold longings for children with no known name and face?
How to hold the pressure of what their story will hold?
Oh God, the air,
It’s hard to breathe now.
Darkness.
Darkness covers deep and wide.


But just when I feel my lungs may fail me.
Just when the screams are so loud my head physically screams now too.
Just then, I remember that God my God, You are my Shepherd.
You stay with me, and I with You.


You beckon me closer.
Closer to You, standing in the fire.
I am limp.
The heat has pulled the strength from my bones.
Yet, it is here, within the fragility that you remind me what hope is.
A hope that does not disappoint.
Hope is not always rainbows and sunshine,
Deer and streams of abundant water.
Hope in the very essence of the word is a state of longing.
Hope is the belief that within agony life, true life can coexist.


A breathe of relief exits my lungs.
I am ok.
I am going to be ok now.
Hope.
Hope is not weak, it is strong.
Hope is grit.
Hope is the ultimate surrender of the now,
For the sake of the untold story yet unfolding from your fingertips.
Hope is singing praises during the climb of the mountain,
During the state of the seemingly impossible,
Because you know that the view is going to blow your mind at the top.
An unswerving belief that the best is yet to come.


A belief that the pain is worth it.
That we will one day walk into the gates of heaven,
Singing our hallelujah song and the God of the universe looks upon us and smiles.
Hope is holding onto the sunrises and sunsets,
The Lillies of the valley, the morning glories and songs of the daffodils and knowing that they do not even touch the surface of what is yet to come.


Hope is standing on the edge of complete failure,
Complete heartbreak,
A complete state of unravel and knowing that you are never too far from the love of the Father.
For His banner over you is love.
Hope is rising from bed in mourning,
Placing feet to the earth and proclaiming that Jesus is with you today.
Hope is the declaration that though this world comes to steal and destroy,
You shall not be overcome.
Hope is a battle cry.
A victory song.
For hope is always better.


Despair is easier, yes I know.
I actually give in most days too.
I am there with you.
There is grace there too.
But hope.
Hope is something no one can touch.
No amount of hate, suffering, injustice, poverty or sickness can steal hope.


When Moses stood with the Israelites before the red sea, with no way before them,
Moses chose hope and God made a way where there was no way.
The Israelites were rescued.


When the Jews were on the brink of massacre,
Esther chose sacrifice, she chose hope.
God set the Jewish people free.


When the Philistines were set to destroy the Israelites,
David chose hope in courage and a tiny stone defeated a giant.
Victory arose.


When Jesus approached the women at the well,
Discouraged and dismayed, she chose to listen, to long for living waters greater than herself,
She chose to hope and Jesus filled her with eternal living hope.


When Jesus Himself was in the garden before His crucifixion,
Within the greatest despair Jesus chose hope.
There was an expectation in His soul for the things to come that outweighed the pain and suffering of His present.
He chose hope. He chose redemption. He chose faithful love for us.
For love hopes all things.


Despair feels easier in the present circumstances, I know.
But hope is Always Better.


The cords of death may entangle you,
But cry out dear ones.
Cry out in hope.
Mountains will shake, the earth will tremble and love will come down.
Consuming fires shall become spirits ablaze,
Dark storm clouds will become your safe canopy.
Radiance will overtake you by the presence of the Holy One.


Hope is far beyond what we might ever ask or imagine.
Our minds cannot contain it.
Our bodies cannot always feel it.
Yet, it is always there.
On the other side of obedient courage.
Hope is Always Better dear friends.
Hope.
Our fighting battlecry.


Rising from ashes,
Marching across the graveyard.
This world may knock us down, drag us through the fiery valleys,
But I promise you, hope does not return void.
Speak it from your lips,
Declare hope.
Sing hope.
Proclaim hope.
Let it rise.
Let it rise higher now.
Hope.
Hope is Always Better.