Discovering Home Again

August 24, 2023 Laura Duggleby

Home Again. Success Redefined.

Burundi Episode 8. Final Episode.

”We bless this year for all we learned,

For all we loved and lost,

And for the quiet way it brought us

Nearer in our invisible destination.”

-John O’Donohue

How to bring something to it’s end when it was only just beginning?

To approach finality within an ever evolving story.

But the reality in a way was that there was a bit of finality when those wheels of the plane landed on the tarmac of Chicago O’Hare airport. A finality of completion. US citizenship deemed by an IH3 visa upon body to soil of US land.

It was the ending of our time in Burundi and Kenya for now, yet only the beginning of life together in the US and beyond. We had done it in a way; completed a 4.5 year journey of adoption. (Little did we know the post adoption paperwork journey would become an entire journey of it’s own). But, we had done it. Adventured. Learned. Cried. Overcome. Failed. Tried again. Failed again. Eventually to persevere and end up where we started, HOME. Only this time home looked a bit different by those embodied within it.

Life was ever changing, still is, and always will be. There are so many things I would have changed about the way I handled these 4.5 years. But, as I now have had the gift of over 1.5 years since the day of bringing Theresia into our home, I can also see gratitude and pride in all that we endured within this adoption journey and that we were able to come out on the other side.

Humanity. It’s messy, murky, and quite frankly just a while lot of work. But wow can it also be so beautiful and I never want to forget that. Humbling every single day. Beauty to be discovered every single day. I am learning on this journey post adoption to redefine most things in my life. One of those being success. I am having to learn through quite brutal ways that a healthy soul is a greater definer of success than any outward gain or fame or perfection or image ever is. I am also having to learn that wholeness of heart and soul requires a whole lot of valley. I am working to accept this and beginning to see it as part of the journey. For no adventure is without its fair share of valley and therefore no success is either. Success is not a lack of failure, but rather it’s the willingness to keep trying despite the repetition of failure. The courage to try, again and again, for as long as it takes, new ideas and strengths emerging along the way. The courage to not let hope die with hard circumstance but learning to dig deep to find it in the middle of the darkest days. Anyone can endure a comfortable season and come out the other side. A willingness to endure pain, obstacle and heartache, yet still awake each morning with a willingness to grasp for joy, for love, for forgiveness, for tenderness, for gentleness, for hope despite the inability to feel any of those things at all, this is the miracle of it for me. This is the challenge, the consistent choice set before me each and every day of my life. The choice set before each of us each day of our lives.

And so, we came home. We entered a new season. Ending the chapter of what we thought adoption would look like and stepping into the reality of what it became, what it is today.

But I have not forgotten that I did not quite finish sharing about the final days leading to this new season of home. And so we travel back yet again to our time in Kenya, as we bring this adventure home.

Thursday Dec 16, 2021.

7:45am. After tossing and turning all night, hardly able to sleep, Josh and I arrived at the IOM office. The man on the phone the day before let us know it would be alright for us both to come (for IOM testing only one parent is allowed), considering the circumstances we were walking. However, that plan was shut down at the entrance door. They would only allow Josh with Theresia since he had been with her throughout the appointment 2 days prior. I had to wait along the side of the street until my dear friend Amber was able to return to pick me up. This appointment lasted almost 2 hours, however relief was the end result. Her X-rays came back NEGATIVE!! We would be able to return home and her health was in good standing! We cried such happy tears as we then rushed towards our US Visa appointment which we were now late for. However, as these things go there was much waiting anyways and there was no problem with our tardiness. This appointment ran very smoothly and we were able to relax the rest of the afternoon, releasing such heaviness from the last 24 hours.

Friday December 17, 2021

9:50am- We arrive at the US Embassy for me to be able to pick up our finalized Visa for Theresia. We were told this would be a quick and easy appointment and many others who had gone before us had confirmed that this was typically the case. However for us, that did not end up happening. Somehow our case got combined with my friend Beth’s who was there with me as well and we ended up sitting in those chairs, staring into their glass cubicles for over 2.5 hours wondering if we would actually be able to receive our documentation files to be able to travel stateside. Like most things adoption, everything is a gamble, and we were beginning to think this was a pretty big one. But in their own time, they were able to sort through our files correctly and get us both on our way. We were so grateful.

2:00pm- After fighting some traffic we were able to make our way to a covid testing facility where we would receive hopefully our FINAL covid tests for a while. We certainly were ready to be done having examiners wedge q-tips up our nostrils.

5:00pm- This evening David and Amber treated us to one of their favorite restaurant locations. I got one of the best avocado chicken wraps of my life and the kids enjoyed the play-set that was right next to the table. It was a great way to soak in all the navigations the Lord had brought us through and begin to prepare our hearts to head home.

Saturday December 18, 2021.

4:00am. As was pretty typical this trip, sleep had eluded me most of the night. However at 4am, I saw notifications coming through on my phone. Many emails flooding in all at once. Our covid test results. I nervously opened and began looking through our results. This was truly the last thing we needed to be able to board the plane later this coming evening. Shiloh’s was the first to pull up: Negative. Josh up next, negative. Two down, I was a little relieved. Thomas, also negative. Joy began to slowly swirl. I knew if nothing else I could get the three of them home. Theresia, negative. ALMOST THERE. Hands shaking, me fully sweating with nerves at this point, I opened my own personal result: negative. The tears began pouring out. We had done it. We would be getting on a plane this very evening as a family of 5, beginning our journey HOME.

2:00pm. After much rejoicing all around this morning from everyone that all of our results had come in and we were all in the clear we spent the morning resting and gathering all of our things together for travel. Then we headed out to the mall. The malls in Kenya are filled with everything you need, and so much more of things you don’t. Things you might expect like souveneir shops, intermingled with things you might not expect, like a full grocery store, or a trampoline park, full out with rock climbing walls. We stopped by the parking lot to gather a couple small final souvenirs as well as the grocery store for snacks for our journey home. (We got to venture to the trampoline park earlier in our time in Kenya. It was pretty cool! ) It would be a late departure out and I am so thankful we were able to have some time to rest before jumping into quite a long bit of travel.

7:30pm. We said our goodbyes to Amber and her girls as David would be taking us to the airport. Josh and I truly could not have made it through our time in Kenya without them. They not only hosted us in their home, but they were the emotional support we needed when we were crashing in defeat, despair and utter exhaustion. They gave us respite of food and warm baths and showers. We could not be more grateful for their hand in carrying us through this journey. They, more than most others, understand the complexities and dynamics of choosing a life that is very outside of the American norm. Also, so far beyond anything we have ever done, they choose to sacrifice their lives for our country. They choose to live outside of comfort again and again and again that so many others in America don’t have to. We adore this family and highly respect all expat families who do the same.

8:30pm. Safely at the airport we begin the process of line after line, checkpoint after checkpoint. I remember having to show our passports and covid testing results at at least 4 checkpoints and then again to board the plane. We were already set for I believe an 11pm departure, which after delays was closer to 1am. I do not know how we managed to keep everyone awake, but someone we all rallied and then slept the entire 7 hour flight to Frankfurt, Germany.

Sunday December 19, 2021.

Early morning Frankfurt time we arrived. I remember the feeling rushing over me that this would be the day. This would be the day we would land on US soil, that Theresia would officially become a US Citizen, and that she would see our home, in rural Indiana for the very first time. Also, cold, she would also experience that for the first time as snow was on the ground once we made it through our last long flight and wheels touched the ground. I will never forget this very moment, not ever. I remember looking over at Josh. Waves of relief rushed over me. A few tears trickled down. We were here. We were here.

Late afternoon. Time was so foggy at this point, but once we landed we unfortunately had quite the time being able to pass through US Immigration. Theresia’s additional medical questioning had placed her case on a red flag list and we had to process things through the US Health department and that took some time. Likely over an hour after the rest of our plane had come and gone through baggage claim we were able to go and were received so beautifully by my Mother in Law Mary, Josh’s mom. She came prepared for us with winter coats for all. We walked all together, the doors opening to the chill in the air, Theresia’s eyes widened in complete shock, never having felt anything close to these temperatures and laughter roared out of all of us. A new adventure had begun.

This has truly been quite the journey sharing our experience of our adoption trip with you. Thank you for baring with the time it has taken me to get through writing and posting it. This journey has marked my life in some of the hardest ways and yet ways I would never change for the world. I am a different person than I was before. Eyes opened. I once heard Reward Sibanda say on the Practicing the Way Podcast, “With revelation comes responsibility.” This has stuck with me, This season of our lives has felt like revelation after revelation of new. New relationships, new experiences, new struggles. And with each of these comes the responsibility to respond in a way that is fitting. That has been the reflection of our hearts each day in this time.

In closing I thought I would share something I feel the Lord spoke to me during our time in Kenya. I thought, just maybe someone reading this might need these words as well.

“Laura, I am not offering you ease, I am offering you peace, sanctuary of your heart, body, soul and mind.”

And this is my story. This was our journey. I hope you find your own moment of release, reminding yourself that life is certainly not easy, but I hope you fight and reach, and grasp for peace despite all the odds working against you. I hope you overcome adversity, not necessarily in circumstance change, because we don’t always have control over that. But my hope is that you might feel it too, if even for just a moment: peace. Sanctuary of your heart, body, soul and mind.

Rooting for you always, and deeply, deeply grateful to have you here.

I’ll see you soon then, likely sharing some more poetry and inspiration from life unfolding.

~Laura

Want to read our entire adoption finalization story? You can find all the episodes from beginning to closing here below.

Episode 1: Back to the Beginning:

https://www.lauradugglebyphotography.com/blog/2022/2/26/back-to-the-beginning

Episode 2: Heartbeats from Heaven:

https://www.lauradugglebyphotography.com/blog/2022/3/9/heartbeats-from-heaven

Episode 3: Harvest Days:

https://www.lauradugglebyphotography.com/blog/2022/3/16/harvest-days

Episode 4: Moon Miracles:

https://www.lauradugglebyphotography.com/blog/2022/3/29/first-signs-of-struggle