Born into hearts; The Fankhauser Family; NW Indiana Adoption Story

Unexpected Blessings

This week I have the pleasure of introducing the Fankhauser adoption story to you.  As I began listening to their story, it became very evident to me, that their story was quite unique, quite a bit different than the stories I have encountered thus far, and yet every bit as powerful and beautiful.

Now, the Fankhauser's on top of having a unique adoption story, also have a unique factor in their family in the fact that both mother and father are named Jamie.  :)  So, to be able to keep matters clear I will title Mother Jamie as Jamie (M) and Father Jamie as Jamie (F). Jamie (M) and Jamie (F) have 3 beautiful daughters, Brooke, Brianne, and Ava.  Brianne is now married to Carson. 

The story began in 2000 when Jamie (M) began feeling a call upon her heart to adopt.  Jamie (F) did not feel called to this at first, but in time, he too could not shake the feeling that adoption would be in their path for them.  After lots of prayer, and just having different things happen around them, they felt called to adopt through Romania.  They went through all the steps, paperwork, and all.  However, after they had been matched with a beautiful boy in Romania, Romania closed it's doors to international adoption.  Romania had promised already matched parents that their adoptions could still hold firm, yet after visits to country, visits to DC and meetings with even the Prime Minister of Romania, they discovered that they adoption process was not going to go through.  

Heartbroken and devastated from the loss of a child, after official word had arrived a snowy morning, Jamie (M) received a call from a wonderful woman who was looking for a home for her  baby girl.  

Stepping Forth in Courage

From here a beautiful relationship formed.  And if you have ever met Jamie (M) than you know, that she is one of the kindest, most patient women that you will encounter.  Jamie (M) and Jamie (F) began to form a relationship with this woman.  They got to know her on a deeper level, and truly see the genuine love that she had for her child.  She truly wanted her child.  She wanted the best for her, but with no Father and not much of any family support in the picture, she was considering placing her child for adoption, so that her baby girl might have the best possible life she could.  And, she found that in the Fankhauser's.  And, in 2006, the Fankhauser family welcomed Ava into their family.  Jamie (M), Jamie (F), Brooke and Brianne were in love. They say that Ava was "born into their hearts" and I don't think could be any more accurate.  Ava's older sister's adored her.  Her Father and Mother lavished their love upon her.  She was and is treasured, and valued to be sure.  

Ava has had the amazing chance to meet her birth mother and her siblings. She knows that she in incredibly loved not only by her parents and family here, but also by her biological mother as well.  She is seen, heard, loved, safe, a breath of life to the Fankhauser family.  She truly is a ball of joy and delight.  Ava can tell you all the details of what is going on around her, and make you feel warm and treasured all at once.  She is a special one for sure, and the entire Fankhauser family knows they won a rare jewel the day she was born into their hearts, into their lives. 

And guys, can I just say what a need the world has for people like the Fankhauser's to be willing to bridge the gap for some of the mother's who feel they don't have other options.  Who feel overwhelmed, incapable, alone and scared.  I so appreciate the way in which they said yes to the call placed right in front of them, even admit some hard rejection.  Saying their small yes to their specific calling, thus changing not only Ava's life forever, but also their other two daughter's lives, and Ava's birthmother's life.  The affect ripples and the love is spread in the sacrifice of saying yes to the right yes before you.  

Rooted in Love 

I love the Fankhauser story and how they are so rooted in their love for Christ that they literally went to the ends of the earth trying to adopt their little boy from Romania, but when all fell through, they could continue to trust that God was good, that God had a plan and that He was preparing them for a different journey, still just as beautiful and more rewarding than they could ever imagine.   Not without struggles and heartache to be sure, but beautiful just the same.  And, something I find incredible, is the way the Lord worked over their situation.  As they were in the adoption process through Romania, they were able to provide their hopeful son with a foster family in the waiting process.  When items fell through with the Romanian government, even though Jamie (M) and Jamie (F) were not able to physically bring home their son, they could rest assured that he was well taken care of, within a loving family, and able to be out of the orphanage.  So, truly, they were able to bless two lives through the process.  What could have potentially been seen as a disaster, was used for good.  God had a plan through it all, and that is such a beautiful thing within adoption.  We are not anything miraculous, we just get to be a part of the plan He is setting forth before us, and go out and make ripples of love to the world.  Yes, it requires sacrifice, but the reward far outweighs it all. 

Advice to those who are seeking Adoption: 

The Fankhauser's suggest to anyone seeking adoption to first trust God.  Trust God in it all, no matter how hard.  Secondly, make sure you really are the right family.  Make sure you are adopting for the right reasons and out of a genuine heart.  Adoption is a life long journey, a life long commitment.  So although a huge blessing, there should be proper intentionality placed on it as well.  And finally, make sure everything is solid at home.  Adoption is a large transition.  It is a huge change, stretching family members, resources, time and attention.  Make sure the important relationships are in check before adding more to the mix.  Everything will run more smoothly in turn.

 

Letter to the Fankhauser's 

The evidences of grace run deep through you.  The beauty of peace washes over you.  You welcome with open arms and satisfy the desires of attention and worth.  You are each warm and kind.  You pay careful attention to love, and to love well.  There is a special connection, a unique gift woven into the fibers of your family.  Your love sinks deeper than just blood and duty, but rather stems out of gratitude, grace and goodness.  You rejoice in each other and smile at the days together.  You are uniquely crafted and yet perfectly designed as one.  You are the perfect fit, the amazing weave.  You are a treasured prize. 

Brooke- Goodness, your love for people and for your sisters runs deep.  You are truly a free-spirit with the kindest heart around.  You make sure everyone is taken care of, without wishing to be in the spotlight.  You are blooming right where you are planted, and the colors shine forth so brightly from the deep roots you have planted.  Keep watering my friend, for your impact to the people around you is a treasured gift. 

Brianne- Your joy, enthusiasm and rich love of hospitality is a so fun to be around.  You welcome those around you with open arms.  You see the incredible details in those around you, you speak truth over them, and rejoicing with them.  You love your husband so well, and have the sweetest compassion towards Ava. Your heart is pure and kind, and I am sure you always light up a room as you enter. 

Ava- Filled with every bit of love, compassion and joy.  You serve so well sweet girl, and pour yourself out for others.  You are this miracle gift to your family.  It is insane how much your parents and sisters (and Carson) dote over you.  You are incredible Ava.  Don't ever lose your spirit of curiosity, and wonder, as it is going to take you on some incredible adventures, and those around you will be blessed. 

Carson- Caring and humble.  You love Brianne so so well, and are truly are the best big brother to Ava I'm sure!! You serve well, and stand firm in tenderness.  You are thoughtful and generous with your words, your actions, and you are such a great fit for this family!  I know the Fankhauser's adore you! 

Jamie (F)- The Best Dad around.  I love how the girls joke with you, and the joy you bring to their faces.  They know that they are each delighted in by their Father.  And the way that you speak to and encourage and uplift Jamie (M) is the most beautiful thing.  Your children understand true love because of the way you treat your beautiful wife.  And you are such a shining example of leading in love and compassion, paving the way for peace within your home. You lead well and your children know their worth and value due to the way you have brought security and attention to them. 

Jamie (M)- There are some people in this life who are just innately special.  Who radiate a genuine sense of beauty about them.  Not by any standards of this world, but by far greater standards.  That of love, and joy, patience and kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control.  There is something so precious in the way you love on your girls, the way you watch over each person in your family, making sure they are taken care of, provided for.  You truly are the Mama Bear of the family, and I know your girls wouldn't want you any other way! 

Thank you guys so incredibly much for being willing to share your story with me! I know that this connection goes far beyond images taken at the beach, and I just feel incredibly grateful to have experienced the loving kindness of your story and relationship. Be blessed my friends! 

~Laura 

Also, just a little reminder that I have some HUGE news to share within my newsletter coming out on Oct. 1st.  Sign up below so that you don't miss out! 

Intentional Love; The Goetz Family; Northwest Indiana

Intentional Moments 

As moments pass and memories fade, I shall ever hope that I have documented them well, as to be able to bring them back into being.

 I deeply want my life to be intentional, well thought over, with my decisions having value and worth.  

To soak in the value of one another is to discover some of the greatest blessings this life has to offer.  

When we have the opportunity to share this life with those we love, those we treasure;

Well, it makes life a rich adventure.  

May we seek the best in one another, give of ourselves for the best in each other and hold captive to the beauty within one another, as to savor the rich blessing before us.  

I don't think we will ever regret the decision to listen and be attentive to those around us.  

Pay attention my friends, for moments are ever passing in time.

May we make them intentional. 

Intentional Savor 

This word intentional is what kept brewing over again and again within me as I documented this gorgeous family.  They are so intentional to show up for one another, to be present, to be content in one another's presence, and to enjoy the moments passing by together. There is always something about a large family that draws me in, but the Goetz family was something deeper, more poignant and reflective.  Drawing me in deeper and closer.  And I think it was genuinely their calm, compassionate attitude towards one another.  This intentional savor and love is certainly something to be admired. 

Letter to the Goetz Family: 

Your love is steadfast and pure, may it remain that way as you grow and mature, and continue developing in wisdom.  Your bonds and relationships with one another is the most beautiful thing, evident through the images and even more so in real time, your deep genuine care for one another runs far deeper than an evening session, but has depth that covers the daily void.  The hard days and all.  You guys are truly steadfast and loyal.  And what an honor to stand behind my camera and watch your magical family unfold.  What an honor and a blessing indeed. 

Rhett- What a cutie you are.  A ball of energy to be sure!! I know you keep your sweet mama busy, but goodness are you so wonderfully adored.  You are truly a ball of joy and you bring energy, life and excitement to the whole family.  Your family lights up for you and is enamored at all that you are. 

Julia- The sweetest thing you are.  You love fiercely and boldly.  You are so beautiful from the inside out.  You are going to be a go-getter, a world changer, a deep impacter for the lives around you.  You are something incredible. 

Cort- My goodness, you are so fun!! I just love your goofy, silly, compassionate personality.  Full of life and spirit, you will consistently bring the laughter and hype to the party.  What a joy to be around! 

Lorelei- Goodness, your heart is so kind and pure.  You are soft spoken and yet overflowing in rich beauty and grace.  You are going to have a heart of gold like your mama.  I see so much of her in you, even though we all just met.  You will love well, and love in wisdom.  You are a valued treasure to be sure. 

Case- You like to be hidden behind the scenes, yet you serve and love so well. It is so evident the way you love Rhett and watch over him as your own.  You are a protector, silently keeping watch over all that is happening and soaking it in.  I am sure you will be wise beyond your years.  You certainly are something special! 

Rece- The kindest leader.  You lead well as the oldest of your humble tribe, but you lead in honest humility.  You lead in love and you lead in service.  You have the best smile and the warmest heart.  What a blessing you are! 

Matt- You are present.  You know the value of everything you have set before you.  You love your wife SO well, and treasure her beyond this earth.  It is so clear that you would do anything for her, and because of the way you love her, it feeds over into the way your children love her.  You are steadfast and trustworthy.  The anchor among the seas. 

Janel- Oh, so full of passion and life.  You have a gentle spirit, but you love hard and love well.  Your children adore you in every way.  They admire and respect you.  For, you are the inspiration for your family.  You bring beauty and dreams.  You are the encouraging force on a bad day.  You are the steady stream, the constant servant, the humble beauty.  Your heart is kind and compassionate.  Something I think your kids get from you.  You are doing SUCH a great job as a mother.  I hope you know that you are chosen, you are beloved, you are a treasure far beyond the weight in this world.  You are one incredible person, and I feel so lucky to have met you!!! 

Be so richly blessed my friends!! 

~Laura 

If you are interested in booking a fall family session, the time is now!! I have about 3 more openings on my schedule! 

Sharing my Story: Laura Duggleby Photography: NW Indiana

Identity 

Sharing my story always comes back to identity, many times my lack of it, and the growth of finding it, discerning who I am, what I am called to, and learning to accept that, even if I do not always believe the truth that is instilled within it. 

My parents divorced when I was 6 years old, both to somewhat quickly remarry.  It was a beautiful thing/ is a beautiful thing to have so much family, so many people loving and caring for you.   However, it was not without brokenness and questioning of my identity within the process.

I was also a competitive gymnast my entire life growing up.  I practically lived in the gym, loving  my time there.  But being a gymnast stirs up feelings of perfection and unattainable goals as you are always striving and seeking for the very slimly attainable 10.0.  And to mix in my already Type-A, slightly OCD tendencies, I was destined for loads of inadequacies on my end, never feeling like I measured up for the standards I set for myself, for the goals I tried to reach, or the mountains I was trying to overcome. My identity felt like a failure many days, struggling with an eating disorder and trying to fit in despite my overwhelming awkwardness, introversion and severe acne.  The funny thing is that I actually have some amazing memories from this time in my life, as the friends I did have were incredible, I got to train day in and day out in the gym, and I was the weird kid who actually kind of enjoyed school.  So, it wasn't all bad, but when I went to the heart of the matter, I would sink deep into my thoughts and feelings, and feel overwhelmed every time; alone and forgotten, or as if I just didn't fit in.  

College Days

From High School I received a scholarship to compete in gymnastics for Ball State University, I met my now husband and truly began to discover the true meaning of grace over my life. I began to see that even though I was still a hot mess most days, it didn't matter, there was purpose for me even still.  As Josh (my now husband) began pursuing me, I was also able to see more of my Heavenly Father pursuing me.  The pursuit of my heart, being seen and heard and loved in radical ways opened my eyes to an entirely new version of life.  Of course, being in love will do that for you, but this was something much deeper, for as Josh was pursuing me, I was also losing my identity of gymnastics, the only thing I had ever known as I underwent 3 surgeries due to injury and was unable to compete my last two years.  I was being stripped of everything I had ever known, and yet it was being replaced with everything I ever wanted to know.  I was learning to accept my messy, my weird, my awkward self and that propelled me to being able to care and love others in a way I had never been able to before.  For, as my identity in Christ grew, as I discovered more of who I am in Him, that I am Chosen, Adopted, Beloved, Redeemed, it led me to be on mission for others, to help them to see this same thing about themselves, and that brought forth some of the greatest joy I have ever known. 

Marriage and Loss

2 Weeks after graduation day, I was blessed to be able to walk down the aisle and marry my best friend.  It was the sweetest memory!  Kissing him for the first time, and knowing that I had someone choosing to be by my side was one of the sweetest gifts.  Little did I know how much I would need this sweet gift a few years later. 

January 4, 2014 we lost our first child due to miscarriage.  I thought I was in the blissful days of life, everything going according to "planned", until the unimaginable, uncontrollable happened.  I went numb.  I couldn't leave the house, I felt as if all emotion left my body for quite a long period of time, around 5 months.  I would cry uncontrollably. I couldn't eat, or sleep right.  I was grieving and as we then discovered that I had PCOS and that we would most likely struggle with fertility issues, I felt as if my dream of motherhood was dying.  I had always dreamed of being that mom with a large family and all her kids into sports, driving a large SUV.  The dream was slipping through my fingers, and I was quickly discovering that no amount of planning or working hard could make pregnancy happen.  It was simply out of my control, and this horrified me.  But one evening, as I was sobbing uncontrollably and quite honestly yelling at the Lord in anger, God showed up for me. 

Stepping into Photography 

That day, the Lord did two things for me. 1. He gave me a name for our lost child, Olivia Grace.  It was a beautiful piece of closure I needed, not to be able to move on, but to be able to breathe enough, to gasp enough air for life to be worth living and fighting for.  I had battled severe depression throughout this time, even planning out suicidal actions, so this was like fresh water washing over me, a new beginning.  The second thing he did, was whisper to my heart that I needed to get a DSLR camera and start trying to learn photography.  I had always been a photographer at heart, snapping hundreds of photos at every family vacation, getting all the film developed and making crazy scrapbooks from each trip, accompanied by my journal entires along the way.  Processing through writing and images has always been a creative outlet for me.  

But what photography did for me in this season was incredibly healing.  It brought my identity back into the light, both physically and metaphorically.  For, I was able to notice actual physical beams of light shining in our house, and around town.  I became obsessed with looking for and seeing the light.  And as I was coming from the darkest state of my life, this also became incredibly healing for me, as I also began to see the beauty of creation around me.  I began to see hope, to see the beauty within the mess, within the imperfection, within the incontrollable.  And as this began, I became addicted.  I took every online class I could, attended conferences and met as many photographers as I could, to learn and grow and discover this new blooming gift in my life. 

Discovering my Calling

And as seasons turned and I grew and developed as an artist, I also began to discover the type of images I was drawn into taking.  I love images with shadow light play, or strong uses of light.  I love the documentation of real life, messy, just as it is, not posed or perfect.  I am drawn to the connection between people, and the story that comes from each person.  So, about 8 weeks ago, as I was on a plane to TX to be there for a hard time my family was experiencing, God brought words to exactly what my mind and heart had been trying to process and attain.  Advocating rich stories of hope, making extraordinary of the seemingly ordinary.  This was it.  Identity had been brought full circle for me.  And as this dream and vision continued to narrow, I have felt extremely called to advocate for orphan care and providing a home and family for each child in need in the process.  Why?  Identity.  It all comes back to identity for me.  When I come back to knowing that I am seen, and loved, chosen, adopted, and beloved, that I have value and worth, my mission is to share this with others. And who needs this more than  the abandoned, or alone children on the streets around the world?  The children without homes who feel neglected, forgotten, rejected, ugly, and of little or no value.  These are the ones who need it most, and these are the ones I feel called to show up for?  For practically speaking, I feel called to document rich stories of hope right within the families and couples I know and get to come in contact with, while supporting and uplifting people who are helping on the front lines of orphan care, whether that be family reconciliation, or creating family homes in country, or even adoption.  Because here is the thing, if I can be brought from a place of extreme hopelessness and lack of purpose to knowing that I am held in the arms of my loving Father, with rich purpose before me, than I know it can be possible for others as well. So, today I am sharing my story.  

Another thing that has been insanely helpful for me in my life, is remembering that I am not in control, nor do I need to be in control.  Sometimes things happen in this life that are out of our control, and that is ok.  As I sit back and rest in the fact that I do not have it all together and am out of control at some times, that is ok.  Because God is bigger than all of it, and He is in control.  I don't have to do it all, for He already has.  He is enough, and I am enough in Him, just as I am, without doing a single thing.  I will never be enough for the world, and that is ok.  I will never be able to control the people or certain events around me, and that is ok.  Shoot, sometimes, I cannot even control me.  But Jesus is bigger than all of it, and He says He has got it, I can let go of my grip, and trust Him.  I can trust that I am who He says I am, not who I constantly portray myself to be. 

So, this is me, and this is my story. I struggle every day in identity, however, I also have been given the grace to know this life is worth it.  I am worth it.  I am seen and loved, chosen, adopted, beloved, and redeemed and I hope you know this about yourself as well. I am leaning into the hope despite pain and suffering, despite failed expectations or rejections, I am leaning into hope.  No matter where you stand, or how you feel, there can always be hope.  Lean into it today and let it meet you where you are. 

~Laura