For the Identity: My WHY Behind my Work

"Reshape the identity of people back to that of their creator, instilling value and hope. "

Bringing People Back to Truth 

This is it for me.  This is why I step into the realm of photography time and time again for me, for my children, for my clients.  I want to bring people back to the truth of who they are, their true beauty and amazing awe that makes them exactly who they are created to be.  I want my clients to be able to see themselves, and say yes, this is me, this is my child, and this is the value I hold for my life.  I stand behind advocating rich stories of hope, making extraordinary from the seemingly ordinary.  This is my mission statement and what I do with my work.  But, to go deeper, I advocate for these beautiful stories for the very fact of renewing hope into the lives of my clients, and truly anyone and everyone who may see my work.  I remind each and every person that there is extraordinary resting within the ordinary they claim rests there.  I teach people to hold firm to that which they have planted, and rise up into the bloom set forth in motion.   I want my clients to resonate so strongly with their images that joy spills over, and love resounds in their soul.  Love and gratitude for all that rests within their lives and the season that they are in, messy, broken and all.  For beauty still resides.  And I desire for my work to encourage connection.  Art moves your soul.  When you see something that you are drawn to, you naturally want to be more like it.  And this is what I strive for in my work.  My work resonates the hope of true, strong, valuable identity in Christ and for that hope to draw my clients in to a greater self-esteem and value, and thus moving them to more positive action within the world. 

“ I want to remind each and every person that there is extraordinary resting within the ordinary they claim rests there.”

Let's talk self-esteem

Goodness friends, is this just me, or does self-esteem affect every single aspect of your life?  I know when depression, self-hatred, anxiety and the doubt creep into my life, I also become self-absorbed, prone to cast people aside, I become more easily angered, and cut off people closest to me.  When I have a false perception of my identity, everything else in my life shifts and my purpose is lacking.  I am doing little or no good to bring hope to those around me and truly my purpose falls void.  But, it is because I am not seeing clearly, my perception is off.  But, when I truly see myself for how the creator God sees me, as holy, righteous, redeemed, valued, worthy, and beautiful.  Well, then things shift for me,  They shift into a place of confidence.  I no longer need to beg for the approval of my husband, my friends, social media, or those around me to lift me up.  I no longer need to rely on my children behaving a certain way in public in order to build me up.  I no longer need to have everything fall the way I want it to in life in order to please myself and lift myself up.  I can be ok with inconvenience.  I can see my children as the joy that they are.  I can see my husband as a delight instead of a servant for my needs.  I can REST in the delights of the Lord, for when our perception is set straight, so is our ability to love and serve others well.  And when our identity is seen for what it truly is, then we are overcome with the purpose set before us.  We can dwell within the value we hold and pass that along to those around us.  Because, more than anything else, I think we are living in a generation that is DESPERATE, I mean DESPERATE for hope.  Desperate to rest at the feet of Jesus.  A generation that is desperate to stop striving and running and going, going, going, and posting, and prepping and mothering and tidying, and baking and dressing for the approval of others, and simply to be seen.  It falls flat and void, and is just plane exhausting. It fails it's desired task of being enough, being worthy and being of value.  So, I am calling it quits.  I am saying, be done with the fame game.  Just let it go, and let's learn to rest in all the creative gifts you personally are given and the AMAZING identity that YOU personally sit within.  Let that be enough, and my goodness, your mindset will change, and your life will be free and full of joy.  

“ I no longer need to rely on my children behaving a certain way in public in order to build me up. ...I can be ok with inconvenience”

Joy to Fill the Days

And this is what I deeply want for my clients dear friends.  And, you might think I am crazy to put so much expectation on a photo.  But, I can tell you, so much can be pulled from a single photograph.  Feelings, emotions, connection, imagination, documentation, hope, joy, sorrow.  Photographs bring us to a special space.  A space to reflect and sit in whatever emotion it folds for us there.  Maybe it brings healing, maybe it brings hope, maybe it brings reflection or joy.  But truth be told, it brings something.  And there is value in that.  Every life has value, every life has meaning and we are here for way more than self glorification.  So, may we spend our days loving others well and reflecting on the true identity which rests over us.  Let's make more images true to ourselves, true to our identity, true to the hope that rests within us, true to everything good and lovely and beautiful.  I know it sits within you, even if you think you are ordinary, I guarantee there is extraordinary there.  Let me show you. For the identity.  For the love.  For the hope.  For the world.  One clearer fixed identity at a time. 

~Laura 

*If you would like to have your family documented AND help support education costs for boys in need in Rwanda, walking alongside KEFA Project those are happening THIS Sat. Sept. 16th. on our property on the farm! 7:00am, 7:30am and 7:30pm timeslots are still available. If interested 

Adoption Stories Part II: Taylor Family: Ethiopia to NW Indiana

Steadfast in Love

This week I get to introduce you to the Taylor family.  And after hearing from Erin as she shared about their journey, and then meeting the entire family last weekend, the word "steadfast" just keeps coming to mind.  This family is steadfast, they honor the Lord, they hold fast to His promises and they stay steadfast in love for each other.  It is a hard choice to make sometimes, but joy meets us there, and so does restored relationships and love.  This family shows up for one another, and I am incredibly honored and excited to share this beautiful story with you. 

The Taylor Story: 

The Taylor adoption story began nine years ago.  They were a beautiful family of 5, Erin and Chris married, with Jackson, Abby and McKenna at their feet.  There was love and joy in the messiness of raising little ones.  Grace to be poured out each morning and snuggles and I'm sorry's in the evening.  The incredible responsibility and gift to raise up little ones.  Then, brokenness ensued as they miscarried their fourth child.  There was heartache and grief, but restorative healing from the loss as well. At about this same time, the prospect of adoption kept coming up over and over again within their lives.  And in 2008, they decided to take a step forwards into adoption through the country of Ethiopia.  

After 1.5 years into the adoption process, they were able to bring Mesay home from Ethiopia.  Mesay's father unfortunately passed away due to illness, leaving his mother unable to provide for him, thus placing Mesay in an orphanage as a means to best provide for her child.  The most beautiful thing to me as I chatted with Erin was the way that she spoke of Mesay's mother, as it was incredibly evident the love that spilled over.  Love for her that she loved Mesay incredibly and did what was in his best interest to give him a chance at survival and a life of dreams.   Love that Mesay's Ethiopian mother was able to love Mesay beyond herself and sacrifice on her behalf.  And so here we have the most incredible sacrifice on both ends.  Mesay's Ethiopian mother sacrificing her desire to have her son near her, and the Taylor's sacrificing of resources to bring Mesay into their own family.  And through it all, Mesay has been so deeply, deeply loved. 

The Book of Pictures: 

And something I found incredibly beautiful about this story is a piece that comes out of heartache, but comes forth into beautiful redemption.  For the Taylor's decided to send yearly updates to Mesay's Ethiopian mother through pictures (due to the language barrier) as a way to love her and keep her informed with all the growth of Mesay.  However, it was only years later that they discovered that the location for where they were transporting the pictures had closed, and Mesay's Ethiopian mother never received them.  But here is the beautiful thing.  The Taylors were steadfast, creative and loving as they put together a book of pictures of Mesay's growing, and sent them with the private investigator who had discovered the lack of transport in the first place, and delivered them to Mesay's Ethiopian mother.  Upon receiving them, she lifted her hands up to the Lord in gratitude as she held them in her hands.  This is so redeeming.  A simple act, but one that can move mountains.  I only think of the way God loves us, they way He too can overwhelm us in an instant with His goodness and grace, flooding His mercy over us.  I also clearly love the testament to the power of images and how important photography is to document the ever passing moments in time. 

And truly, let us not forget to mention the incredible love being lavished on Mesay from every aspect of his family.  His parents so adore him, his brothers and sisters dote on him as the baby sibling that he is.  He is treasured and adored.  And something beautiful to be reminded of is the love that is able to cross borders and boundaries. The love that crosses cultural divides and the ability to overcome hardship with goodness.  As Mesay described to me what he loved most about his parents he said, "Kindness".  Kindness always trumps, am I right?  What a beautiful testimony to the steadfast kindness of the Taylor's over their little boy, their perfect completion to their family. 

Is one Enough?

Something I was SO incredibly grateful to Erin for, was in her opening up to me and sharing about her struggle to be done adopting after Mesay.  For after the adoption process and as she was in this new circle of other "adoptive mamas", she told me a little of her struggle to be done.  She was feeling called to adopt another child, however Chris was not.  And as she prayed and kept hoping for more, she in time began to realize that for now, Mesay was enough.  Their family was and is enough just as it is.  For you see, it was hard as she constantly was comparing to the other adoptive mothers who had adopted more than one.  She felt she needed to somehow measure up in this tribe of adoptive parents, to make sure Mesay had a sibling of the same ethnicity, or just striving to prove some value and worth.  And goodness, is this right where my heart is at.  How many times do we as mothers struggle with this?  We want the best for our children right, and we want to fit in?  Goodness, yes.  But as she spoke, it was crazy the confidence that she can now speak and talk about how beautiful their family is, just as is.  And guys, holy cow, these kids, they just love each other so well!  Their bond, their adoration and care for one another.  It is so beautiful.  Their family is so beautiful.  And maybe one day, another child may be added?  Who knows the plans of the Lord, but may we rest in what God has for us here, for us now.  And may we be ok if it doesn't look like the stories of those around us.  May we be ok with the beautiful work the Lord is doing right within us, whatever it looks like?  Let's say yes to more of this in our lives, for I can guarantee it will be the most rewarding journey! 

Advice on Adoption: 

In asking any advice for families considering adoption Erin mentioned that you should "Be open to take the next step.  Doors open and might not look like what you want.  And surround yourself with an adoption community to get the help and support you need. "

Letter to the Taylor's: 

Taylor family, what a beautiful blessing to this world that you are.  Full of compassion, commitment and a steadfast love for each other.  Your hearts beat together, in unison for the good of this world.  You laugh together, play sports together and overall it is so evident that you enjoy your time together, with each other, and what a beautiful thing that is.  

Chris- the leader of the tribe.  Your humbleness and compassion reigns evident for all to see.  The way you still look at Erin, encouraging her, affirming her, and supporting her.  The kids see how well you love her and it is displayed in the way the children treat her as well.  She is your prized treasure, your greatest delight, and is pours over into the way you love your children.  Their is such joy as you come alongside your children- giving wisdom and proving example in the gentlest of ways.  You are a great example for your children to look up to and a welcome hand for advice and love when they need it. 

Jackson- the oldest of the crew.  You are adventurous and fun!  Leading the soccer games and tree-climbing excursions.  However, love abounds in you.  The way you kindly check in on your younger siblings, taking care of them and protecting them.  You love well and love large.  Your siblings look up to you, and so admire you as their big brother. 

Abigail- Sweet, sweet abigail.  Your heart could leap through the world and not return void.  You are compassionate and loyal.   The quiet spirit with so much creativity and beauty flowing from within.  You are going to change the world, as you are already changing the world where you are standing now within your family and season of life.  You have a beautiful soul dear one, and I hope it continues to grow and radiate across the world! 

Makenna- so full of life!  You brighten a room wherever you are I am sure!! The perfect sidekick with Mesay.  Your joy is exciting to watch, as you wade adventure and seek challenges before you!  You are going to be a fighter, a defender of the weak.  You are fiercely loyal and incredibly kind.  I cannot wait to see how you advocate for others with your spark for life! 

Mesay- the gentle joy.  I cannot get over your beautiful smile.  It truly lights up the world.  You may be soft spoken, but you have such beautiful things to say.  You are coming into your own in this world and stepping into the greatest destined before you.  Not afraid of adventure, and yet, wise and thoughtful in words and actions.  You are so deeply loved and your heart shows the depths of your intense value and worth. You are the doted on baby of the family and they could not love you more.   In the words of your siblings, you are "awesome.  goofy.  strong."  Keep being all you Messay, for the world is lucky to have you shining here. 

Erin- the kindest, most endearing soul.  You love so kindly.  It is incredibly evident the way you listen to your children well.  They are valuable, and loved.  You sacrifice so much of your time for them, but you wouldn't change a thing, for you are living the best life.  You give so much of yourself as you continue to be the light to the people of influence around you.  You truly know how to make people feel valued, important and cared for, even outside of your immediate circle.  You are gracious and extend love freely.  I am so thankful to have met you and feel as if we could be great friends for life.  You are so genuine and what a rare thing these days.  You are truly a gift my friend.  Know that you are so deeply loved.

*This is my second story in my adoption series.  To view my first beautiful story featuring the Allyn Family, click below:

Resources

As in keeping tradition with my adoption stories, here are some resources for you! 

Adoption Agency: Bethany Christian Services

Erin works with an organizational called Isagenix that has been a beautiful resource for them to help with nutrition and she is now even a part of a group within the company called #Adoptagenix which specifically works towards bringing the right nutrition towards children who are malnourished or struggled due to HIV.  If you would like more information, please contact Erin here. 

Erin also has a couple of other helpful resources.  The first is a blog series that she wrote as they went through their adoption process with Mesay.  It is chalk full of helpful resources and information if you or anyone you know is interested in adoption. 

Erin's Blog

She has also recently been creating a website for her and her family.  It covers everything from faith and family, to fitness, food, finances and philanthropy.  Be sure to check out these valuable resources below. 

Erin's Website

*If you or someone you know would like to be a part of my Adoption Stories Series, I would love to hear from you! 

Let's continue to be the hands and feet to those all around us in need! 

~Humbly sharing stories and greatness, advocating for hope around the world, 

~Laura 

Sharing my Story: Laura Duggleby Photography: NW Indiana

Identity 

Sharing my story always comes back to identity, many times my lack of it, and the growth of finding it, discerning who I am, what I am called to, and learning to accept that, even if I do not always believe the truth that is instilled within it. 

My parents divorced when I was 6 years old, both to somewhat quickly remarry.  It was a beautiful thing/ is a beautiful thing to have so much family, so many people loving and caring for you.   However, it was not without brokenness and questioning of my identity within the process.

I was also a competitive gymnast my entire life growing up.  I practically lived in the gym, loving  my time there.  But being a gymnast stirs up feelings of perfection and unattainable goals as you are always striving and seeking for the very slimly attainable 10.0.  And to mix in my already Type-A, slightly OCD tendencies, I was destined for loads of inadequacies on my end, never feeling like I measured up for the standards I set for myself, for the goals I tried to reach, or the mountains I was trying to overcome. My identity felt like a failure many days, struggling with an eating disorder and trying to fit in despite my overwhelming awkwardness, introversion and severe acne.  The funny thing is that I actually have some amazing memories from this time in my life, as the friends I did have were incredible, I got to train day in and day out in the gym, and I was the weird kid who actually kind of enjoyed school.  So, it wasn't all bad, but when I went to the heart of the matter, I would sink deep into my thoughts and feelings, and feel overwhelmed every time; alone and forgotten, or as if I just didn't fit in.  

College Days

From High School I received a scholarship to compete in gymnastics for Ball State University, I met my now husband and truly began to discover the true meaning of grace over my life. I began to see that even though I was still a hot mess most days, it didn't matter, there was purpose for me even still.  As Josh (my now husband) began pursuing me, I was also able to see more of my Heavenly Father pursuing me.  The pursuit of my heart, being seen and heard and loved in radical ways opened my eyes to an entirely new version of life.  Of course, being in love will do that for you, but this was something much deeper, for as Josh was pursuing me, I was also losing my identity of gymnastics, the only thing I had ever known as I underwent 3 surgeries due to injury and was unable to compete my last two years.  I was being stripped of everything I had ever known, and yet it was being replaced with everything I ever wanted to know.  I was learning to accept my messy, my weird, my awkward self and that propelled me to being able to care and love others in a way I had never been able to before.  For, as my identity in Christ grew, as I discovered more of who I am in Him, that I am Chosen, Adopted, Beloved, Redeemed, it led me to be on mission for others, to help them to see this same thing about themselves, and that brought forth some of the greatest joy I have ever known. 

Marriage and Loss

2 Weeks after graduation day, I was blessed to be able to walk down the aisle and marry my best friend.  It was the sweetest memory!  Kissing him for the first time, and knowing that I had someone choosing to be by my side was one of the sweetest gifts.  Little did I know how much I would need this sweet gift a few years later. 

January 4, 2014 we lost our first child due to miscarriage.  I thought I was in the blissful days of life, everything going according to "planned", until the unimaginable, uncontrollable happened.  I went numb.  I couldn't leave the house, I felt as if all emotion left my body for quite a long period of time, around 5 months.  I would cry uncontrollably. I couldn't eat, or sleep right.  I was grieving and as we then discovered that I had PCOS and that we would most likely struggle with fertility issues, I felt as if my dream of motherhood was dying.  I had always dreamed of being that mom with a large family and all her kids into sports, driving a large SUV.  The dream was slipping through my fingers, and I was quickly discovering that no amount of planning or working hard could make pregnancy happen.  It was simply out of my control, and this horrified me.  But one evening, as I was sobbing uncontrollably and quite honestly yelling at the Lord in anger, God showed up for me. 

Stepping into Photography 

That day, the Lord did two things for me. 1. He gave me a name for our lost child, Olivia Grace.  It was a beautiful piece of closure I needed, not to be able to move on, but to be able to breathe enough, to gasp enough air for life to be worth living and fighting for.  I had battled severe depression throughout this time, even planning out suicidal actions, so this was like fresh water washing over me, a new beginning.  The second thing he did, was whisper to my heart that I needed to get a DSLR camera and start trying to learn photography.  I had always been a photographer at heart, snapping hundreds of photos at every family vacation, getting all the film developed and making crazy scrapbooks from each trip, accompanied by my journal entires along the way.  Processing through writing and images has always been a creative outlet for me.  

But what photography did for me in this season was incredibly healing.  It brought my identity back into the light, both physically and metaphorically.  For, I was able to notice actual physical beams of light shining in our house, and around town.  I became obsessed with looking for and seeing the light.  And as I was coming from the darkest state of my life, this also became incredibly healing for me, as I also began to see the beauty of creation around me.  I began to see hope, to see the beauty within the mess, within the imperfection, within the incontrollable.  And as this began, I became addicted.  I took every online class I could, attended conferences and met as many photographers as I could, to learn and grow and discover this new blooming gift in my life. 

Discovering my Calling

And as seasons turned and I grew and developed as an artist, I also began to discover the type of images I was drawn into taking.  I love images with shadow light play, or strong uses of light.  I love the documentation of real life, messy, just as it is, not posed or perfect.  I am drawn to the connection between people, and the story that comes from each person.  So, about 8 weeks ago, as I was on a plane to TX to be there for a hard time my family was experiencing, God brought words to exactly what my mind and heart had been trying to process and attain.  Advocating rich stories of hope, making extraordinary of the seemingly ordinary.  This was it.  Identity had been brought full circle for me.  And as this dream and vision continued to narrow, I have felt extremely called to advocate for orphan care and providing a home and family for each child in need in the process.  Why?  Identity.  It all comes back to identity for me.  When I come back to knowing that I am seen, and loved, chosen, adopted, and beloved, that I have value and worth, my mission is to share this with others. And who needs this more than  the abandoned, or alone children on the streets around the world?  The children without homes who feel neglected, forgotten, rejected, ugly, and of little or no value.  These are the ones who need it most, and these are the ones I feel called to show up for?  For practically speaking, I feel called to document rich stories of hope right within the families and couples I know and get to come in contact with, while supporting and uplifting people who are helping on the front lines of orphan care, whether that be family reconciliation, or creating family homes in country, or even adoption.  Because here is the thing, if I can be brought from a place of extreme hopelessness and lack of purpose to knowing that I am held in the arms of my loving Father, with rich purpose before me, than I know it can be possible for others as well. So, today I am sharing my story.  

Another thing that has been insanely helpful for me in my life, is remembering that I am not in control, nor do I need to be in control.  Sometimes things happen in this life that are out of our control, and that is ok.  As I sit back and rest in the fact that I do not have it all together and am out of control at some times, that is ok.  Because God is bigger than all of it, and He is in control.  I don't have to do it all, for He already has.  He is enough, and I am enough in Him, just as I am, without doing a single thing.  I will never be enough for the world, and that is ok.  I will never be able to control the people or certain events around me, and that is ok.  Shoot, sometimes, I cannot even control me.  But Jesus is bigger than all of it, and He says He has got it, I can let go of my grip, and trust Him.  I can trust that I am who He says I am, not who I constantly portray myself to be. 

So, this is me, and this is my story. I struggle every day in identity, however, I also have been given the grace to know this life is worth it.  I am worth it.  I am seen and loved, chosen, adopted, beloved, and redeemed and I hope you know this about yourself as well. I am leaning into the hope despite pain and suffering, despite failed expectations or rejections, I am leaning into hope.  No matter where you stand, or how you feel, there can always be hope.  Lean into it today and let it meet you where you are. 

~Laura