Words for Today.
Here I am again.
Before this screen that can feel haunting some days.
I feel fulfilled once the work has been created, the words written,
Yet getting there each and every day feels like a new mountain to climb,
New pain to endure,
New challenge to push through.
But, here I am even still.
If I am learning anything it is this:
DO NOT GIVE UP.
Do not give up dear heart of mine.
Though the voices echo in my mind:
“This doesn’t matter, words don’t change the world.”
“Why waste your time? People are skimming, not reading this.”
“Who do you think you are to have something to say? To have a voice to speak into others?”
The voices get louder as I sit.
I willfully turn my eyes towards my remembrances within the fight.
My “Do not give up” sign still resting on my wall,
My “stay” tattoo etched into the skin of my wrist.
I remember to proclaim truth over lies lurching.
For the truth is, words DO matter.
Words in fact DO change the world.
Why did people always say “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”?
That person was a liar.
Probably someone marked with power in effort to tear down their subject.
I hope they didn’t win.
I hope the subject didn’t believe the lie.
Because the truth is that sometimes words DO hurt.
Words have the power to change the very course of our lives.
Whether it be affirmation or damnation, it shifts us.
Words of destruction build walls, borders around our lives where we will no longer go.
We change course at a young age when we are told the very thing that makes our soul come alive is not good, will not prosper, or has no purpose.
We change course when what was meant as hopeful truth, words to sing praise to another, is shot down in rejection, confusion, denial.
But may we also not forget that we change course when life is spoken back into our bones,
When we listen to the stories of others, their triumphs, their victories, their freedom songs of pushing past the rejection to embrace light on the other side.
Our words can cause a people group to rally around a cause,
To rise together in worship,
To bend to our knees in prayer for miracles.
Our words have ability to shift us in ways we may never know this side of heaven.
But, I want to always remember to never give up.
I want to remember to not stop writing.
For writing these words is a way to keep a space of myself in this world;
To leave a legacy with my thoughts, my memories, my loves and my devotions.
I want to remember to not stop writing because it makes me come alive on the inside.
It breathes hope in the desperate spaces,
It brings clarity to the crazy,
It is a rhythm where I am able to see myself in ways I couldn’t see before.
As I write I feel it connects me to generations past, with their feathers to paper.
A gift I do not take lightly.
It is a luxury to write.
And here I am, when I thought I had nothing to say,
But am now rather quite surprised because there was much more here than I thought.
Life is a bit that way is it not?
We believe something to be true,
Preconceived judgements take root,
But as we lean in, as we dig deeper and share space and time in relationships, in writing, in community,
We discover there is much more there than we ever could have imagined.
We discover a depth and beauty beyond compare, a settling into our bones.
A healthy rhythm of proximity and persistence may be the very thing to discover the untapped wonder, joy and hope we so desperately seek.
These are my words for today.
Slower. Deeper. Stronger.
Slower, Deeper, Stronger.
Stop, Breathe, Lean In.
Fight the urge to run away.
Instead slow down.
Take heart.
Take notice of the fear,
The pain,
The tension.
Lean towards grace.
Slower, Deeper Still, Stronger.
This is how roots begin to form.
Stay, Become, Worship.
Draw into the unknown,
Its ok.
Faithful love will walk with you.
Go slow, take your time.
Break free from the prison of the fear of the unknown,
And do the next right thing in front of you.
It’s ok if it’s not right,
It will continue to lead you towards what is.
Stop. Breathe. Lean in Deeper.
Can you feel courage growing?
Can you feel purpose rising?
The living waters begin to stir.
I can see the movement,
Hear its strength growing in the waves.
Do not be afraid.
Faithful love is here.
It’s ok.
Step out upon the waters,
You have secure roots within you now.
Take notice of the waters,
The sounds,
The cleansing,
The renewal,
The freshness in the air.
Breathe it in deep.
Take a moment to pay attention.
Faithful love goes with you;
Through the streams, along the valleys and breaking forth into the raging rivers.
Stop. Breathe. Lean in.
Take the next step.
Slower, Deeper, Stronger each day.
Holy Anointing.
In the morning as the sun rises,
May I choose Jesus.
May I choose Jesus as I walk to the pier,
Stepping into the boat of uncertainty,
The winds causing a drift from shore as the sun beams down.
I stand at the boats edge,
Wind pressing in on my face time and time again,
Just as the waves flow in and out upon the shore.
This rhythm of unison within the earth stilling the chaos of my mind.
Rain begins to drip from the skies,
Heaven opening up with gentle refreshment.
It is here that I am reminded that my boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places.
I am reminded that indeed I have a beautiful inheritance on the horizon.
I kneel and relax in the glory of it all.
Jesus meets my soul here.
As I choose more of Him, He never disappoints,
Overflowing me with water from the wellspring of life.
Waters breaking forth from my wilderness spirit,
Streams flowing in abundance for my dessert heart.
The Lord meets me here,
In His gentle anointing as He so graciously does.
The burdens of my soul, such lightness to the Lord.
For His light covers any ounce of darkness left within me.
My darkness had created a blindness in me.
Bitterness, a callous piece of my soul.
But, as the light enters in, my eyes are opened,
my bitterness overcome by waves of compassion,
an outpouring of good washing over my being.
I see the light, restoration, peace.
The triune nature of water wooing me to its sacred space.
God. Jesus. Spirit.
Almighty. Savior. Revealer.
Strength. Grace. Truth.
All is well now.
Beauty and waters surround me.
Wind embracing me tenderly,
Peace abounding,
Love anointing me here.
So God, might I stay right here with you awhile.
My heart still now, experiencing the fullness of You.
Eyes shifting into presence.
Bones cracking open for compassion,
Hands opening wide in gratitude,
Knees trembling at the sound of holy thunder rising up within me.
For the anointing, the filling, the renewing, the shifting and changing,
It all has purpose.
Great purpose indeed.
May I stay with You as long as I need.
And when I rise, may I rise ready to walk upon the waters,
Diving into the unknown, armored with grace.
Ready to plunge for the sake of the Kingdom.
I will stay here with you oh Holy God, until my heart reaches full surrender,
Until I am ready for the overflow,
Until I reach the point of diving in.
So, anoint me oh Lord.
Pour the oil,
Remind me of your blessing,
Your protection,
Your purpose over my life.
I am here for the filling to be emptied again.
What sweet mercies in the the waves of an anointing of love.
